5 reasons why Dutch parents are the happiest in the world
Dutch parents are actually happier than those without children in the Netherlands, with their children ranking highest in the United Nations report on children’s wellbeing in rich countries. Most English speaking countries, including the UK and US, ranked low on the list. Studies have shown that parental happiness has mostly to do with the presence of family-friendly policies that allow parents to better combine paid work and family obligations, and the culture’s values that are reflected in the way parents raise their children. Let’s explore how this influences the way Dutch parents approach parenthood.
What do Dutch parents do differently?
1. Parents don’t view academic excellence as an end all.
In the Netherlands, playtime is seen as a time for social learning, which is more important than homework and acing exams. Schools in the Netherlands do not focus on GPA’s or ‘elite’ colleges, and instead is seen as an institution for a child’s wellbeing and social development, so children only need to pass their high school exams to attend university. They don’t need specific grades or letters of recommendations to be accepted. Similarly, a family’s pride is also not purely dependent on academic excellence, so failure or shortcomings don’t bring family shame. Factors that help kids live a successful life, like sound values and social skills, are the core focus.
2. Parents are more laidback and value routines.
Dutch families live by the 3R’s: Rust, Reinheid en Regelmaat (serenity, cleanliness, routine). Dutch parents don’t ‘helicopter parent’ or try to maximise family schedules, instead they ensure their children are in a calm environment without too many stimuli, which allows them to stay relaxed too. Parents understand consistent routine is vital for kids to feel secure and safe. Instead of obsessing over extracurricular learning in their free time, Dutch parents also believe in independent, unstructured play for kids, where children learn to be creative about how they entertain themselves, and parents can just enjoy socialising.
3. Parents have world class postnatal care and childcare support.
Reasonable work hours, generous maternal and paternal leave, and ongoing workplace childcare support for parents mean parents spend more time with their kids and have more energy when they interact. In the Netherlands, both father and mother have an equal role in raising the child, so many fathers also considering reducing their work hours when their child is born. Many Dutch mothers have also found the perfect work-life balance by working part time, with 70% of Dutch women working part time, about 25 hours a week. Oh, and the government subsidises Dutch families’ childcare. That sure takes some pressure off!
4. Parents spend time outdoors and socialise.
The modern world, and the recent pandemic, has isolated most parents, when social relationships are a primary factor on a person’s happiness. Dutch parents feel less guilt when it comes to the fine balancing act between work, social life and being a parent. Dutch families also love spending time outdoors, camping, visiting parks, zoos, beaches, and reaping the positive effects of being in nature.
5. Parents have more sleep and they sleep well.
The fact is that parents need sleep to function properly. Dutch parents sleep better because their children sleep better. They rest better after of a balanced day of work and outdoor activity (hello vitamin D!), and because they spend less time stressing and planning to ensure their children’s competitiveness edge in schools. In turn, well-rested parents and children are more regulated and naturally happier.
The takeaway
Splitting time between work and life is an ongoing balancing act for parents, it’s easy to get sucked into the ever rising demands of keeping your child competitive academically and the never ending extra-curricular classes that other parents invest in. Know that there are other ways to raise your family and produce adaptable, happy children. Living in a high stress city may make this feel impossible, but there are more and more parents turning to more relaxed and natural ways of parenting that in turn helps them live a more meaningful and less stressful life.
We hope you found this helpful! If you need support, we offer 1:1 parent support sessions to help you relieve the stresses of parenting long term. Simply get in touch with us and we’ll find a time!