What are the biggest communication problems between parents and their children?

We interact with countless people during our lifetime, so communication is key when it comes to relationships with others, especially with our children. However, when it comes to parent-child communication, it most often proves to be one of the biggest challenges families face.

There are two ways to send information to another person: verbally and non-verbally, and children will learn how to communicate effectively by watching their parents. Effective communication is very important as it builds trust and understanding and it’s the main factor in children’s development and wellbeing. Communication problems between parents and child rise when it’s not done openly and effectively.

Let’s see what are the biggest issues we face when communicating with our children and what we can do to improve them.

1. Limiting freedom of speech

If we encourage children to openly express their feelings and opinions it will make communication more straightforward and reassure them that they are heard and acknowledged.

Instead of making them suppress emotions- and judging their behaviour as good or bad, we have to try and understand the reason behind it and allow them to speak freely, without imposing barriers. 

2. Asking too many questions 

When they worry or are just curious, parents tend to ask too many questions.

This is mostly applicable in families with teens, but this can make them shut down. Teenagers can feel that parents are controlling or interrogating them if they ask too many questions or offer unsolicited advice. Communicating effectively sometimes means giving them space. This will help children know that they are trusted and understood.

While some questions can help conversations along, others can stop them. The most effective questions are the open-ended ones, as these require an in-depth response and keep the conversation going.

3. Honesty is the best policy

Being too caught up in the “role of parenting” sometimes leads to parents not being completely real, which goes beyond telling the truth. If you allow your child to have a realistic viewpoint of life, it will contribute to having genuine communication and grow their self-esteem and sense of curiosity.

On the other hand, if children are misled or lied to, it can break the trust they have in their parents and it can have more negative effects than the covered-up facts, not to mention that it can fracture their sense of reality.

4. Showing empathy is important

It is very important to not use judgment when communicating with children. Even if they are stubborn, angry or defiant, empathizing will allow you to connect with them and make them understand that their feelings are valid, rather than labelled as “bad”. A child, just like adults, is in constant change and growth, so avoid labelling or making judgemental remarks when your child is “acting out.”

However, make sure you do not over-empathize, as this can backfire, especially in situations when children have arguments with their friends and you try to be supportive by saying something negative about their peers. If they make peace, they might feel embarrassed to come and talk to you about it.

Listening is an important part of effective communication. Listening to your children will show them that you are interested and care about what they have to say.

5. Poor time management

We live in a fast-forward world and managing our time can be very challenging. To truly communicate with your children, you need to spend quality time with them. Make sure you plan lots of outdoor activities or read the bedtime story without rushing. Always have quality over quantity in mind, though. Poor time management can lead to poor communication, and implicitly, children not opening up or being themselves around their parents.

6. Focusing only on problems

One of the biggest mistakes is criticizing your child for not living up to our expectations, rather than praising them for what they do well. Encouraging children and celebrating their strengths is the best way to establish a great, trustworthy relationship and improve communication.

Conclusion

When it comes to communication problems between parents and their children, there are some tips and advice that we can follow to cross those barriers, and asking for a specialist’ help can sometimes prove to be the best way to do this.

As a parent, it is important to personally relate to your child and listen with interest and empathy.

If you need more support on this topic, we are happy to offer you more information on how to communicate more effectively with your child.

 Get in touch with our team today, we are here to help!