Why It’s Important to Let Your Kids Experience Difficult Emotions

This is an important one for parents. When your child experiences sadness, anger, fear and disappointment, it is instinctual to want to jump in and relieve them of that feeling as much as possible. In many cases where they are experiencing a difficult emotion but are physically safe, it's important to let them experience the full tide of the emotion, and guide them through ways to calm down and suggest alternative ways to respond. It takes courage to shift from the protector role to an observer role when seeing your kids go through difficult moments, but it is important to remember the role your decisions play for their future.

How do kids benefit when they are allowed to experience the full range of emotions?

1. They understand the temporary nature of emotions, that like waves, feelings come and go.

2. They resort less to acting out or tantrums because it doesn't mean you swoop in to make situations for them, this sense of responsibility is very important for when they grow into adults.

3. They learn ways to respond vs react when they stop resisting the emotions so much, rather accept it and focus on what they can do to make it better in that moment.

4. They become more resilient the next time things get difficult, because they've managed this before it was all okay in the end.

Ways you can integrate this with your kids the next time they are having a difficult moment…

- Guide them to calm down: Try deep belly breathing to calm the nerves, an effective one is breathing in for 4, holding the breath for 4, breathing out for 4, and holding the breath for 4, do this with them and repeat until they are calm.

- Acknowledge their emotion and suggest an alternative way to respond: Say, 'I understand you are angry Tom won't share his toy with you, but it's not okay to hit others. Why don't you ask him nicely or play with someone else?'